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You don’t have to master psychiatric vocabulary to understand that I wasn’t doing well.
你不需要掌握精神病学词汇就能理解我状态不好。
If you want to go into the nuances, “significant moral suffering” is worrying, but less so than “intense moral suffering”, which I was soon to experience, and which is itself less worrying than “intolerable moral suffering”.
如果你想深入了解其中的细微差别，“严重的精神痛苦”是令人担忧的，但不如我很快就经历的“强烈的精神痛苦”那么令人担忧，它本身也没有“无法忍受的精神痛苦”那么令人担忧。
I’ve experienced that too, I don’t know if there’s a fourth.
我也经历过，我不知道是否还有第四种。
In the past few days, my already not very glorious state has worsened.
这几天，我本来就不太好的状态变得更糟了。
From one day to the next, from one hour to the next, I had gone from agitated to catatonic, and this state so alarmed my sister Nathalie that she made an appointment for me at Sainte-Anne.
从一天到另一天，从一个小时到下一个小时，我从焦躁不安到精神紧张，这种状态让我的妹妹娜塔莉非常惊慌，她为我在圣安妮医院预约了就诊时间。
That’s how we ended up on the top floor of a modern building on the edge of the hospital compound, in front of a cordial, 60-year-old man in a white coat, with bright blue eyes
就这样，我们最终来到了医院院落的边缘一座现代化建筑的顶层，前面是一位和蔼可亲的60岁的男子，穿着白大褂，有着明亮的蓝色眼睛，
and the quiet authority that characterises what’s known as a bigwig -- even though no one ever talks of anyone being a little wig -- who, seeing me in the state described in the report, decides to admit me straight off.
有着一种安静的权威，这是众所周知的大人物的特征--尽管从来没有人说过任何人是一个小人物--他看到我在报告中描述的状态，决定直接让我入院。
I don’t go home, they put me to bed, we’ll have to wait and see for how long.
我没有回家，他们把我放在床上，我们得等着看能等多久。
He stresses the notion of illness -- very different from that of neurosis, which has dominated my adult life.
他强调了疾病的概念--这与我成年后生活中的神经症截然不同。
The question is not to discover its origin or to understand why I’ve spent my life lugging such a big load of shit around in my head.
问题不是要发现它的起源，也不是要理解为什么我一生都在脑子里装着这么多乱七八糟的东西。
The fact is that I’m sick, just as sick as if I’d had a stroke or peritonitis, so they’re going to lay me down and look for the right treatment,
事实是，我病了，就像我中风或腹膜炎一样，所以他们会让我躺下，寻找正确的治疗方法，
and they don’t hide the fact that they’re groping in the dark and that they might not find just the right thing for me right away.
他们毫不掩饰他们在黑暗中摸索的事实，他们可能不会马上找到适合我的东西。
“But what we can do until we find it,” says the bigwig, “is keep you out of harm’s way.
“但在找到它之前，”这位大人物说，“我们能做的就是让你远离危险。
And don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here as fast as we can.”
别担心，我们会尽快把你弄出去的。”
Hearing this, I heave a sigh of relief: I’m sick, I’m going to lie down, stop fighting, let things take their course, they’ll take care of me, and for starters they’ll shoot me up big time.
听了这话，我松了一口气：我病了，我要躺下，停止战斗，顺其自然，他们会照顾我的，首先他们会在很大程度上让我有所改善。
