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“双相情感障碍”只是一时的流行词吗?(2)

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That’s the hallmark of depression: you can’t believe that one day you’ll get better.

这就是抑郁症的特征:你不能相信有一天你会好起来。

Well-meaning friends say: “You’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

好心的朋友会说:“你会好起来的,等着吧。”

But you only look at them with dismay and even start to resent them: they’re so wide of the mark.

但你只会沮丧地看着他们,甚至开始怨恨他们:他们太离谱了。

It’s so clear they haven’t got a clue.

很明显,他们对此一无所知。

When you’re in a depression you think that you’ll never come out of it, that you won’t come out alive, that the only way out is suicide.

当你处于抑郁中时,你认为你永远不会走出来,你不会活着走出来,唯一的出路就是自杀。

If you don’t kill yourself, however, sooner or later you will come out of it, and then once you’re out of it you cross over into the camp of the well-meaning friends and can no longer imagine this state of intolerable and seemingly endless distress.

然而,如果你不自杀,你迟早会走出困境,一旦你走出困境,你就会进入了善意朋友的阵营,再也无法想象这种无法忍受的、似乎无穷无尽的痛苦状态。

When I was young, I had a bad trip on hallucinogenic mushrooms.

我年轻的时候,我有一次吃了致幻蘑菇,非常糟糕。

They sent me to hell, which is, by definition, frightful and never-ending.

他们把我送进了地狱,从定义上讲,低于是可怕的,没有尽头的。

But I was lucid in my nightmare, and told myself: “Don’t panic. I took poison.

但我在噩梦中很清醒,并告诉自己:“不要惊慌。中毒了。

Its effect will last as long as it takes me to digest it, in eight or 10 hours it’ll be over, I just have to hold on until then.”

它的影响会持续到我消化它的时候,再过8到10个小时就会结束,我只需要坚持到那会儿就行。

I said this to reassure myself, it was reasonable and true, but at the same time I wondered: “Can I hold on until then? In eight or 10 hours will I still be alive?”

我这样说是为了安慰自己,这是合理的,也是真实的,但同时我也在想:“我能坚持到那会儿吗?再过8个小时或10个小时,我还会活着吗?”

I lived through it, and I know that once you’re back among the living you put this hell into perspective, you quickly forget the horror.

我亲身经历过,我知道,一旦你回到生活中,你就会正确地看待这个地狱,你很快就会忘记那种恐惧。

As Louis-Ferdinand Celine puts it in Journey to the End of the Night, “The biggest defeat in every department of life is to forget, especially the things that have done you in.”

正如路易斯-费迪南德·塞林在《暗夜旅程》中说的那样:“生活中最大的失败就是忘记,特别是那些让你痛苦的事情。

Anyway. Unfortunately for me, I’m no stranger to depression.

不管怎样,不幸的是,我对抑郁症并不陌生。

But what I still didn’t know during my first psychiatric consultations is that, in the definition of bipolar disorder,

但我在第一次接受精神病学咨询时,我仍然不知道的是,在双相情感障碍的定义中,

the pole opposite the dive into depression isn’t necessarily a state of spectacular euphoria and disinhibition that leads to social suicide and often to suicide itself,

陷入抑郁的对面并不一定是一种惊人的兴奋和抑制解除状态,导致社交自杀或真的自杀,

but just as frequently what psychiatrists call hypomania, which means in plain language that you act like a fool, but not to the same extent.

但就像精神病学家经常说的轻躁症一样,用通俗的语言来说就是你表现得像个傻瓜,但程度不同。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
dismay [dis'mei]

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n. 沮丧,绝望
vt. 使 ... 灰心,使

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plain [plein]

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n. 平原,草原
adj. 清楚的,坦白的,简

 
defeat [di'fi:t]

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n. 败北,挫败
vt. 战胜,击败

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social ['səuʃəl]

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adj. 社会的,社交的
n. 社交聚会

 
perspective [pə'spektiv]

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n. 远景,看法,透视
adj. 透视的

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reasonable ['ri:znəbl]

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adj. 合理的,适度的,通情达理的

 
spectacular [spek'tækjulə]

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adj. 壮观的,令人惊叹的
n. 惊人之举,

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panic ['pænik]

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n. 恐慌
adj. 惊慌的
vt.

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depression [di'preʃən]

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n. 沮丧,萧条

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nightmare ['nait.mɛə]

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n. 恶梦,使人极其痛苦的事情或经历,梦魇

联想记忆

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