I Admit It. I’m in Love With Fear.

Essay by Eileen Gu

For the last 10 of my 18 years, I’ve pursued a tumultuous love affair with fear. I’m a professional freeskier, and twin-tipped skis, 22-foot halfpipes and double-cork rotations are my main sources of adrenaline, the truly addictive core of extreme sports.

Like all bewitching lovers (at least the ones in the novels I read, for lack of real-world experience), this significant other can be … mercurial. “Fear” is really an umbrella term for three distinct sensations: excitement, uncertainty, and pressure. I’ve learned that the nuanced indicators of each of these feelings can be instrumental to success when recognized and positively leveraged, and harbingers of injury when ignored.

Though it’s easy to label extreme sport athletes as fearless or capricious, the countless hours I’ve spent visualizing tricks and practicing them in foam pits (foam. particles. everywhere) and on airbags (think giant Slip ’N Slide) suggest otherwise. It’s biologically counterintuitive for us to place ourselves in positions of risk, and while we make every effort to physically prepare, no amount of metaphorically safety-netted practice can equate to the unforgiving snow slope that rushes up to meet us after a steep kicker launches us into the air. Instead of ignoring fear, we build unique relationships with it by developing a profound sense of self-awareness and making deliberate risk assessments..

生词短语：

tumultuous

喧嚣的; 欢腾的; 动荡的

adrenaline

肾上腺素

bewitching

迷人的; 令人沉醉的

mercurial

多变的; 变幻莫测的

umbrella term

概括性术语

nuanced

微妙的；具有细微差别的

harbinger

先兆; (常指坏的)预兆

capricious

反复无常的;变化无常的

counterintuitive

反常的

metaphorically

隐喻地;比喻地